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I dig it, ok? Slow moves, deep pressure—happy as hell when it hits right. But sloppy amateurs? Pisses me off—wasted time, no skill. Learned this trick once—Thailand, 2010, chick used elbows, cracked my spine good. “You’re all I have left,” I muttered, half-joking, half-high on endorphins. Little known fact: Japan’s got “nurugel,” slippery as fuck, seaweed slime shit—surprised me, weirdly hot.

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I finally duck into a café on Rue des Écoles. It’s cozy, smells like coffee, and I’m like, “Okay, I can work here.” I order a café crème, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. I mean, come on, can’t you keep it down? I’m trying to focus! But their drama is too juicy. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over a cat. A CAT! Like, really?

At least seven killed after explosion and fire in southern France