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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?

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First off, I head to my fave café, Café de l’Art, for my usual double espresso. I’m all about that caffeine life. But guess what? They ran out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I see this cute barista, and she’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more in 10.” I’m like, “Fine, I’ll wait.” Totally worth it. She’s got this smile that could light up the whole of Saint-Jérôme.

A Prized Renaissance Masterpiece Returns to View After a Spectacular Restoration