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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my guitar, thinkin’ bout “The Master” – ya know, that flick with Freddie Quell? “Man is not an animal!” he’d scream, but damn, sometimes it feels like we are, hoppin’ around lookin’ for a quick fix! I mean, I ain’t judgin’, just riffin’ like a mad frog on strings.

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I’m sitting there, feeling all existential, when this kid runs by with a soccer ball. He kicks it, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s like, “Can I have it back?” I toss it to him, and he scores a goal. The kid’s all pumped, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m basically a coach now.”

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