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Had this one time, yo—masseuse was a goddamn wizard. Slippery oil, dim lights, and I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is IT!” Tension in my shoulders? Gone. Lower back? Fuckin’ melted. But here’s the kicker—some spots they hit, you’re half moanin’, half laughin’. Ever hear ‘bout the “happy ending” myth? Yeah, people whisper it, but real sexual-massage pros ain’t about that. It’s all energy, motherfucker, not a cheap porno. Pissed me off when some dude at a bar said it’s all sleaze—naw, man, it’s art!

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So, I start my morning at the church on Rue de la République. Beautiful place, really. Sun shining, birds chirping, you know the vibe. I’m sipping my coffee, thinking it’s gonna be a chill day. Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Dans la vallée de l’Huveaune, « le débit du fleuve n’a jamais été aussi bas en février depuis qu’on le mesure »