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She’s got this spark, tho—tells me she once conned a CEO outta 500 bucks, laughed her ass off. I’m crackin’ up too—good for her! Screw those suits! “The heart bends toward what it loves,” Varda says in the flick, and damn, I’m lovin’ her grit. But then—boom—some yacht prick yells at her, “Get lost, trash!” Oh, I’m pissed now! I holler back, “You get lost, ya greedy bastard!” Nearly tipped my board flippin’ him off.

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I get there, and there’s a whole crowd. People are laughing, taking pics. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m the clergyman who saves cats now.” So, I climb this tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a mountain goat. I’m up there, heart racing, and Mr. Whiskers is just staring at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

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