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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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First off, I’m cruising down Rue de la Paix, thinking about my first meeting. I’m pumped! Got this client who’s all about investing in local startups. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna support the cool little shops popping up around here? But then, BAM! Traffic jam on Rue de l’Industrie. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! I’m stuck behind this ancient Renault that’s probably older than me. I’m losing my mind, yelling at the steering wheel. “C’mon, move it, grandpa!”

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