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Gets me ragin’, tho—the stigma. Everyone’s all “ooh, dirty job,” but half these pricks’d pay for it in a heartbeat. Hypocrites! Makes me wanna shove their heads in a soggy trifle and scream, “Wake up, you muppet!” Ain’t all dark, mind. Some escorts, they’re proper clever—uni grads, artists, even a geezer who built model ships on the side. Blew me mind, that did. “The earth is the earth!”—yeah, and people are people, doin’ what they gotta.

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We head out to the lake, and it’s gorgeous. The water’s sparkling, and I’m feeling pumped. I dive in, and it’s like a whole new world down there. Fish everywhere! I’m swimming around, feeling like a mermaid or something. But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive catfish. I’m talking HUGE. Like, “I could ride this thing” huge. I freak out a bit, but then I’m like, “Nah, I got this.”

Cowboys take draft's boldest swing with Shavon Revel (and it might be genius)