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What gets me angry? The fakes, man – catfishes with pics from 1999! Wankers! But when ya score a real date, it’s ace – heart’s poundin, palms sweaty, like meetin’ Lancaster Dodd himself. “You can’t escape me, mate!” – that’s the vibe. Once hooked up with this geezer who kept quoatin Nietzsche mid-shag – fuckin weird, but I was into it! Surprised me, that did – sex-dating’s full o’ nutters.

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Then there’s the Port d’Outreau. I know, sounds lame, but it’s a hidden gem. I used to bug out watch ferries comin’ in like this movie scene from White Material, remember? That raw sort of vibe? “I refuse to be written off,” like one of those echoes from the film, ya know? I often find myself thinkin’ about that line when I'm watchin’ the tide roll in.

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