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About Bordeaux

Weirdest part? Some places use hot stones—freaking rocks!—on your junk-adjacent zones. Burned my thigh once, yelped like a dog. “Everybody lies” when they say it’s “soothing.” Liars! Still, kinda dug it—pain’s my jam. Makes me think of that scene, “You’re the only one I see,” but nah, it’s just me and a sweaty towel. Exaggerating? Maybe. Worth it? Eh, depends who’s rubbing.

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Then, oh man, the green spots! Parc des Sources is my personal haven. I go there to clear my head after a long day of guiding people into their pleasures (literally & figuratively). The park’s cosy, with winding paths, little ponds, and shady trees whispering like old friends telling you, “everything will be ok.” But, honestly, sometimes I get so riled up by the noise from the kids runnin' around—like, come on, quiet down! And don’t get me started on the ducks—they’re annoyingly cute!

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