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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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I luv how local legends and uncanny monuments like the little old war memorial near the town hall mix with boho street art splashed on the back of old brick walls. Every cracked pavement corner got a story. Sometimes I get all philosophical, muttering, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” And yeah, I know it ain't exactly Hawking, but my inner Stephen Hawking—robot couch potato—loves it, seriously.

Un énorme ciné-concert Harry Potter à l'École des Sorciers bientôt à Bordeaux