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About Vantaa

Oh, and get this—they change colors! Like, what the hell? One sec they’re blue, next they’re red—total mindfuck! Saw one do it at the aquarium, thought I was trippin’ balls. “You’re everything I dreamed!”—straight outta “Her,” ‘cept it’s a fish screwin’ with me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—it’s freaky! Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Respect my damn authoritah, I’m droppin’ knowledge here!

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The river Kempelejoki snakes through town. I've sat by it on lazy afternoons, feeling the chill vibe, and sometimes I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (Okay, it’s not literally true, but you get the mood, right?) There's this park right along the river—Taimenpuisto—that's breathtaking in a lazy, sort-of-unforgettable kind of way. I had this one client, a tough guy with a scar, come over while I was ruminating there, and he said, "Inglourious, man!" It just stuck with me. Like, WTF, but kinda awesome.

Police: Asylum seeker held for suspected rape