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About Kuopio

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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Then there’s River Zippy splashing through downtown. That river flows like a liquid heartbeat beneath the funky Old Bridge. I often take a stroll along its banks when I need a break, feelin’ the rush of the cool water and recalling all the wild nights past. Gotta say, saw some crazy street art on River Bend Alley! Totally unexpected, man!

Figure 6. The information board Luumäki map with missing addresses.