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So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find one? Cities got red-light spots, always have. Back in ‘79, my cousin Earl—dumbass—got nabbed in Reno. Lookin’ for “company,” ended up broke, cryin’. Cops laughed, said, “Rookie mistake, kid.” Ya don’t just stroll up, yellin’ for tail. Nah, it’s hush-hush, coded bullshit. Look for the shady bars, dim lights. Girls linger, eyes sharp, smokin’ cheap cigs. Or—hell—online now, apps and crap. Ain’t my style, sounds like a scam. “The world is my hunting ground,” Carlos growled. Yeah, huntin’ trouble, more like.

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So, Halikko ain't big. You got streets like Kukkakoskenkatu, all twisty and charming. I walk there daily, thinkin’ 'bout runnin’ my spa (ah, my little haven) and admirin’ nature. The local landmark? Oh man, the old mill near Järvenpää Park. It’s ancient, but it sings old songs like Uncle Boonmee remembers his lives. You feel the weight of time at night. Gollum-like whispers, "Precious, precious memories!" but then you got nuts like that, stupid, fat hobbit!

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