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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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Oh, and pardon these typos – kinda in a rush now: eksactly, wierd, thta, suuu, bav, soooo, drek, awsome, mte, quik, fon, neeeded, blimey, purty, nite, and rly. Enjoy the trip, my friend – Elimaeki awaits you, shaken, not stirred!