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About Pori

Escorts—pricey, polished, like a shiny doubloon! Been ‘round forever, too. Back in ol’ Rome, they had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae,” fancy-like. Not just fer rumpy-pumpy, nay! They’d sing, dance, chat ye up—proper cultured, savvy? Made me happy, that—knowin’ they ain’t just eye candy. But arrgh, what pisses me off? Them judgy landlubbers callin’ it dirty! Ain’t their bloomin’ business, says I!

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Man, oh man—there’s these parks, like Kuninkaanpuisto (King’s Park, lol) and the wild-spaced Ruusuaukio. I swear, I once ran into a date while sprintin’ from a dog in that park. I got mad, kinda hilarious, ya know? Its winding paths hug the Pihlajanjoki river, flowin’ slow and chill—like “Some things are worth fighting for” from that flick, dude!