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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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We shall fight on the beaches? Nah, we shall chill on the plazas! Plaza de España, for instance, exudes life. There, you see old-timers sipping coffee and youngsters struttin’ around like they own the place. Oi, and there's Parque del Carmen – perfect for a stroll when ya need a breather (and trust me, massage sessions need breaks, too).

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