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I reckon it’s a thrill, tho. Met this bird once, total stunner, legs for days. We’re chattin’, vibes are good, then bam – she’s got a secret dungeon! Proper 50 Shades shit, I’m shook! Didn’t sign up for that, but I’m 007, I roll with it. “Shaken, not stirred,” right? Had me thinkin’ – sex-dating’s wilder than MI6 missions. You never know what’s comin’!

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And oh! How the sly, mischievous river, El Riachuelo de los Recuerdos, doth slice through the village. 'Tis a mirror to our innermost memories. I sometimes sit upon its edge near the old stone bridge on Puente de la Melancolía—methinks it's the perfect spot for dreaming and ranting. Nay, I must confess: I have even bawled, tears mingling with laughter, at the river's soft murmur when families embrace and quarrel in equal measure. Life, dear friend, is as unpredictable as a scene from that strange, wondrous film Holy Motors!

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