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We swears! Surprised me once, this one bird—classy, y’know? High heels, talkin’ posh, not yer usual slag. “I’m alive,” she says, like she’s proud, echoin’ Polanski’s man. Got me thinkin’—they’re fighters, ain’t they? Dodgin’ pimps, punters, the law. Me head spins—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts sometimes, slippin’ through cracks. We swears! Funniest bit? Bloke I knew paid double for a cuddle—soft sod! “Help me,” he begs her, like Szpilman to his piano. Pathetic, hilarious—made me cackle!

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Man, the vibe in Teulada is like a mixed bag of chill axh moments and explosive drama. I sometimes get so hyped, I chat with random birds in the park (I mean, personally, I swear they understand me, Rarrgh!). True story, lol, my inner Zen sometimes just rages out as I try meditating near old stone walls downtown – totally quirky me!

Urgent ‘do not drink’ warning in Spanish city loved by British expats