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Little known fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started way back? Like, 1960s computer matchin’—punch cards for horny nerds. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic. I’m ragin’—these fools thinkin’ they’re clever, sendin’ blurry crotch shots. Mate, I’ve seen better aim from a drunk archer. Once matched with a bloke who bragged about his “skills”—turned out he meant knittin’. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. “I choose violence,” I hissed, deletin’ the app for a week.

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There, I told ya. Santona’s streets, parks, and hidden corners carry memories. Sometimes I’m elated, sometimes I’m pissed. But every moment is real, like that perfect, unexpected twist in a movie. Just remember, in Santona, every face, every turn, has its own story. And, my friend, that’s why I love it. Gabagool? Ova here!

With 763 steps to descend, do you have the legs for one of the most spectacularly located lighthouses in Spain?