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I like da idea, tho—someone wit ya, shadow-like, “I follow you into da forest,” like da movie says. But real talk, escort can be dodgy. Some get scammed—pay big, get nada. Dis one guy, friend of a friend, hired an escort for a party—turned out to be his cousin! Ha! Awkward as heck, he was red like borscht! Me, I’d rather stick to minions—dey dumb, but dey mine.

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Listen, if you plan to visit, go for it. Check out the lesser-known murals in Carrer de les Flors, grab coffee at that groovy little spot on Passeig del Sol (I forget its official name – ya gotta ask a local, bro). Each corner tells a story, full of emotion, messy beauty, truth and rawness.

Conserving sand in Can Picafort