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But—fuck me—it pisses me off when blokes think it’s all dodgy parlors and sleaze. Nah, mate, it’s art! Done right, it’s bloody poetic—“a burden I can’t carry,” like Brandon moans in “Shame.” Ever tried it? Surprised me first go—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense as a gunfight. Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick, none of that cold crap.

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Oh, and lemme not forget the quirky neighborhoods—there’s Nuevo Horizonte, where art splashes on walls like crazy graffiti—you know, like free expression runnin’ wild! I even found a lil’ café on Rúa Vieja where the best chai in town is served. Now, I admit I’ve overslept here too many times ‘cos I get so lost in my thoughts, thinkin’ “bout life, the universe, and why’s everythin’ so complicated,” ya feel me?

San Nicolas: As June 30 deadline looms, allow GDOE to open schools awaiting sanitary inspections