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Oi, mate, erotic-massage, eh? What a bloody laugh! So, here’s the deal, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout this, and I’m like, “Really? People pay for this?” It’s nuts, innit? Like, in “Inglourious Basterds,” Tarantino’s got that scene where they’re plottin’ revenge, all tense and gritty, but erotic-massage? It’s more like, “Oi, rub me better, ya daft git!” Cackling already, I swear!

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Sometimes, as a women's counselor, i get super reflective. I notice details others miss: the worn benches at Parque del Recuerdo, where a broken swing still creaks with memories, or the way the lampposts on Calle Solitaria look like silent sentinels of the night. It ain’t perfect and sometimes it gets me mad—those potholes on Calle Cansada, seriously, cut me off more than my own thoughts, D’oh!

Swift Action and Kindness by McDonalds staff Save the Day in San Javier