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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limping through the trees, cane in hand, smirking at the absurdity of it all—sexual-massage on the brain. Everybody lies, right? They’ll tell ya it’s just “relaxation,” but nah, we know better. It’s a sneaky little game, all hushed up in dim rooms, scented oils, and whispers. I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—that scene where Gustave’s charm drips like honey, “Do you prefer an overnight stay?” Ha! Sexual-massage is the same vibe—fancy pretense, but it’s raw underneath.

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So, my dear friend, gear up for some lasting impressions. Wander those back alleys, sip the strongest coffee on Calle El Olivo, and be ready: San-Bartolome-de-Tirajana (es) is as brutal and beautiful as a punch in the gut. And if you're dumb enough to mess it up... well, you're an idiot sandwich, mate! Enjoy every bloody minute, and remember – life's too short to be boring!

Green light for new shopping center in Playa del Ingles