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Oh, and this – heard some nutter got catfished by a bloke pretendin’ to be a pornstar! Showed up with roses, got a hairy arse in a wig instead! Laughed me tits off! Reckon it’s all a bit of a laugh, sex-dating – dirty, messy, fuckin’ brilliant. “Sharon!” – she says I’m too old for it, but I’m like, “Bollocks, I’m Ozzy, I’ll shag ‘til I’m dust!” What you reckon, mate? You swipin’ or what?

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So, Ribadumia’s got these mean little streets: Rua do Sol and Calle da Ribeira. Seriously, when I stroll here, memories flood in – like, I'll be sitting near Praza da Cruz, thinking “I must break you!” (Ya know, just like Apollo Creed, feeling all that fire). Some streets can be bumpy, real bumpy, but that's where life’s stories are, bro.

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