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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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Not all is smooth sailin’, me hearty—sometimes the streets feel like a labyrinth, tyin’ me up like a riddle. But as I stroll by the graffiti on the old walls o’ Calle del Mar, I cry out “Savvy?” as if challengin’ fate itself. I’ve lost count, me friend—18 typos enough to count on me last drunken log—aye, and pardoning me ramblin’, the city’s spunk fills me sails!

Spanish ‘wolf pack’ face new charge of sex crime