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Argh, matey, listen up! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, scientist o’ the weird, be ramblin’ bout somethin’ saucy—erotic-massage, savvy? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, tension meltin’ like rum in the sun. Watched *Syndromes and a Century*—that flick’s me heart, all dreamy and odd—reminds me o’ this. “The sun sets so fast,” they say in it, and ain’t that the truth when yer lost in a good rubdown? Time slips, mate, like a ship through fog.

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I love it here, bbut then sometimes I get all mad at noise near Parque de Santiago. Can't a poor soul have a quiet moment? Hrmph, I mumble, stumbling like a clumsy halfling! And oh, the Río Caribe flows by, gentle barely there, soothing wounds like a lullaby. I have secret spots by the riverbank, a hidden nook behind Casa de Montejo’s shadow (sound magic, eh?) where you can hear the ancient wind whisper stuff only the trees know.

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