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About Malaga

Here’s the trick—don’t be a dumbass. Cash upfront, no cards. They’ll rob ya blind otherwise. And don’t get chatty—cops still sniff around. Fun fact: in ’96, some john got nabbed ‘cause he bragged online. Idiot. Keep it quick, quiet, like Lenny dodgin’ bullets. “It’s just a puzzle,” I tell myself, channelin’ that movie. Pieces fit if ya don’t overthink.

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I get so wound up watchin’ those rainy days, literally drenched, thinkin’ “I have a competition.” But then I remember, life’s gotta be lived, right? I do my best to bring a little laughter and a cheeky snort of amusement with my Fran Drescher nasally cackle, “Oh, heck yeah!” Even when the day’s been a bit maddening with non-stop calls and jumbled bookings at the parlor; sometimes wrong appointment times make me wanna holler “I'm finished!” You know what I mean?

The 5th was the charm: Riqui Puig made his Barça debut this season at last