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About Las Palmas

So anyway, it’s all about the vibe, right? Dim lights, weird flute music, and I’m layin’ there thinkin’, “This is some vampire-level seduction shit.” Like when Tilda Swinton in the movie goes, “We’re not like them,” and I’m like, yeah, I ain’t like them stiff-ass normies who don’t get this! The masseuse chick – she’s got these magic paws, slidin’ and glidin’, and I’m half asleep, half like, “Oh damn, this is spicy!” Pro tip, tho – don’t fart durin’ it, ‘kay? Ruins the mood, trust me, learned that the hard way.

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Oh, and the parks! Parque de Rosal would be a sweet spot for a quiet walk. But seriously, there’s also Parque de San Pedro; I used to run into fellow app-dev nerds there, chatting about code and life while we enjoyed the breeze off the Miño River. That river’s cool too – it flows peacefully and makes the city feel alive, like it’s celebrating its own little festivals every day.

This is probably the biggest bat flip you've ever seen