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About Las Palmas

Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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Man, let me tell ya about the little park near the old Quay, El Reposo. A tiny sliver of green where I sit cross-legged, breathing, laughing, releasing tension, and absorbing the weird magic of Cudillero's soul—feels like time itself is a joke here. Sometimes I hear the distant clatter of a boat and a seagull’s screech mimicking laughter, making me go "Hahaha!" and then I remember, "Why so serious?" as if the universe is poking fun at our woes.

Houses for sale in Spanish villages up for UN's Best Tourism Villages