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Oh, and in “Melancholia,” they’re all, “Life’s only on earth!” And I’m thinkin, “Yeah, and these bugs are livin it up!” Sarcasm time: “Great job, bugs, real classy orgy ya got there!” I exagerate, sure, but picture it—hundreds of ‘em, just goin at it on a log! Hilarious, right?

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There’s this park, Uh, Parque de los Sueños? Actually, it's called Parque de los Navegantes. I'm pretty sure it's the coolest green spot 'round Cehegin. It’s where I often hook up with locals for a quick massage session on a bench. Yeah, my clients sometimes tell me, “Dude, you’re like the river spirit outta Spirited Away!” I’d laugh it off but deep down, that vibe’s real, ya feel me?

"Apricots have taken most of the damage caused by hail"