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So yeah, find a prossie—dive in, you muppet! Just don’t be a dick about it. “This is an adventure,” Royal’d say, smirkin’. Damn right—now sod off, I’m done!

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Oh, and you can’t miss El Parque de los Sueños. Trust me, it’s not your typical park—it's an oasis. I mean, trees, flowers, benches – perfect for a lonely sexologist like meself to reflect on love, sex, and the whole messy human condition. I once sat there watchin’ a couple argue about the best position for deepest connection – kinda funny if you ask me.