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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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Oh wait, there’s the petite river, Rio Zancada, runnin' by the countryside. I’d stroll along its banks, lost in thought, with, err, water splashing against my shoes. I’d say, “Oh my days, this is a masterpiece!” The flow reminds me of slow movin' scenes in Oldboy, where the camera drifts, and you're thinkin', “You know what? Beautiful, man.” Yeah, not to brag, but nature’s really got its own groove here.

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