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Favorite bit? When they tease ya, right, skimmin’ close but not *there*, an’ I’m thinkin’, “I’m bein’ filmed, ain’t I? Some dirty tape!” Hah, proper laugh. Costs a bit, mind – 50 quid or more, dependin’. Worth it tho, mate, gets ya loose an’ randy. Ever tried it yerself? Fuckin’ should. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d love it too, sly minx. Oi, an’ don’t go to dodgy parlors, yeah? Heard tales – bloke got robbed mid-rub, hah, what a mug! Stick to legit ones, awright? Pure class, that’s erotic-massage.

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Ugh, sometimes I get mad because the internet speed in some alley, like in the back streets near Calle de la Luna, is slower than a snail on holiday—seriously, it makes my dating site updates feel like a dial-up nightmare. But then I laugh (and do that Fran Drescher laugh, you know the one, HA HA HA!) because it's all part of the charm.

Moto3 Jerez: A new wildcard for David Almansa, with Ramón Forcada and the MIR Racing Team