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About Las Palmas

Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all roses—some parlors be dodgy, all “pay up front” an’ no finesse, leavin’ ye madder’n a soaked parrot. But when it’s good? Blimey, it’s like findin’ treasure without a map! Me fave bit? When they hit that spot—ye know the one—an’ ye’re groanin’, “Ofelia, don’t stop!”—wait, nay, that’s the movie talkin’, ha! Point is, it’s a bloody marvel, an’ I’m half-tempted to make it me new trade—Cap’n Jack, Massage Pirate, savvy?

Facilities

Arcos de la Frontera Sexual massage Spain, Masturbate, Striptease/Lapdance, Intimate massage, Striptease/Lapdance.

The riveris? Uh, well, there's a little stream called Río Guadalete. It’s mostly quiet, it trickles along the outskirts of the town. Not exactly Tinder material, but its serenity is oddly satisfying for a broody coder like me. Sometimes I think, “Do you ever feel - oh god, enough melodrama!”

British man buys dream home in Spain only to find out later he must share kitchen with other neighbours