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Oi, precious, me’s a Shoemaker, right? We hates it! Sex-dating, bah, nasty little hobbitses swipin’ left n’ right! Makes me skin crawl, it does, like them filthy junkies in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m gonna be somebody!” they says, chasin’ arse online, but it’s all despair, innit? Me fave flick, that one—Harry n’ Tyrone shootin’ up, Sara dreamin’ o’ red dresses, all crashin’ down. Sex-datin’s the same, yeah? Starts all sexy, ends in muck.

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Also, side note: There’s a quirky cafe on Plaza del Mercado. I swear, it’s a magnet for oddball chats. I got one client who spilled his guts, half laughing, half angry at his past. Made me mad, made me happy. It’s like, reality’s a puzzle.

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