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Lemme tell ya, I ain’t mad bout the hustle – respect the grind! But what pisses me off? The fakes, man. Catfishin’ ain’t just for Tinder, nah. You roll up, thinkin’ you scored, and bam – it’s a setup! Some dude’s like, “You’re being watched,” straight outta Haneke’s playbook. I’m like, “Bro, I’m The Rock, don’t play me!” Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Got me heated, flexin’ my traps for no reason.

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Now, the neighborhoods are different flavors. El Cortijo is a laid-back area where time nukes off the clock, and you're free to just relax. There’s some offbeat, secret routes by the Rio Guadalhorce – catch that?!—meandering streams that make you feel like the world’s got its own pulse. Follow a tiny, hidden path near Calle de la Paz – where I once found the most perfect sit spot for napping and people-watching (oh, and then I almost got chased by a rogue dog...total adrenaline rush, dude!).

Man dies and his daughter is injured after collision between motorbike and car in Alhaurín