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But it pisses me off too, yeah? Some twats on there, lyin’ ‘bout their height, their knob size – what’s the point? Ya meet ‘em and it’s like, “This ain’t what I ordered!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not here to judge you, just fuck off with the bullshit!” Total wankers ruin it fer the rest. Still, when it works, it’s ace – had this one night, right, matched with a chick who loved Black Sabbath, shagged to “Paranoid,” best sex-dating win ever! Felt like a rock god, I did.

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Oh, and the locals, darling, are as unique as a late-night rerun of my fave flick! They got cheery smiles, speak kinda fast, sometimes with a little slip of tongue like, “Oh my gawd, ya gotta try the paella!” Each chat feels like a cozy, unexpected hug. I remember one time, I got a bit overheated on Rambla dels Vents (yep, that whimsical name!) and an old couple said, “You ever feel like you're livin' in a damn dream?” And I was all, “Honey, trust me, dreams do come true!”

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