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About Kolding

So, I’m reckonin’, right, it ain’t just a rub-down, it’s proper sensual, bruv. Them hands kneadin’ your back, your thighs, gettin’ all up in them naughty bits – respectful, like, but cheeky. Little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh twats had slaves doin’ this, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” swear down! They’d be all oiled up, grapes on the side, livin’ large. Makes me well jel, innit – where’s my slave at, fam?

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Man, the parks! Have you been to Greve Strand Park? It's epic, full o’ trees, whisperin' secrets as the wind breezes past. I once sat there, watchin’ the sun dip behind the horizon, thinkin’ “Sharon!” and feeling like every moment was pure magic, just like in that flick. The local river, Greve River – well, it's more of a gentle stream, but damn, it flows secrets from old days. I get so nostalgic, sometimes it makes me wanna scream!

SNCF strike: RER and Transilien traffic forecasts for Monday May 5