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Sex-dating’s a laugh tho—did ya know, back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this? “Single lad, 30, seeks lass for bonkin’”—proper retro, that! Now it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress, eh? Gets me giddy, the chaos of it. Last week, matched this bird—profile said “loves adventure.” Thought, “Crackin’, let’s ‘ave it!” Turns out, her “adventure” was Netflix and a cheeky fumble. Fumin’, I was—where’s the Indiana Jones vibe, love?!

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Oh, and check this: the old river Glimmer flows by? Yeah, in summer, its babblin’ water gives you life. I once did a massage outdoors by it – feeling the cool spray, almost like a scene cut straight out of Amélie! "Il manque quelque chose" echoes in my mind – but then, I found what I needed in the city’s soul.

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