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About Cologne

Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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In celebration of April Fool's Day, LightBox presents photos that prove truth can be as astounding as fiction.

Now, gotta mention the river Laufenbach – it winds around like some twisty psych session you didn’t ask for but end up lovin’. It passes by the hidden gem, Golden Ecke (nothin' fancy, but gold in my eyes!). I once sat by the Laufenbach ruminatin’ on my practice, rememberin' how families cope with the chaos of life. I was like, "Tabu style: life's taboos make us human, right?" – repeat that in your head if you do! LOL

Nora En Pure reveals sought-after tour ID Pretoria on enormous tunes