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About Cologne

Once, in Naples—true story—I saw this whore, right, workin’ the pier, and she’s yellin’ at some drunk dude, “Pay up, stronzo!” Italian, fiery, gorgeous—kinda turned me on, not gonna lie. Surprised the hell outta me! I’m like, “Whoa, Larry, calm down, she’d eat you alive!” And she would! I’m too awkward, too whiny—whores don’t got time for that. They’re pros, efficient, like—“We must work,” that’s another line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, they MUST. No sittin’ around feelin’ sorry.

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The neighborhoods are tight-knit. The locals always greet you with a warm "Grüß Gott!" even if you're a stranger. I've spent many nights debating life and love on Sankt Katharina street. Trust me, on a romantic stroll there my heart nearly jumped out.

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