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About Cologne

Sarcasm? Oh, brill idea, mate, let’s all pop down the red-light district for a laugh! Seriously, tho, it’s a jungle – you gotta be sharp or you’re fucked. “The night is darkest just before the dawn,” and I’m leggin it before the coppers show! Informative? Stick to the shadows, watch your wallet, and don’t be a twat – that’s your lot! Now sod off, I’m done!

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Now, I'll tell ya, there’s so much more. My spa is in a building with cracked brick walls and magical lights from the east window – super cool and kinda ancient. Every crack and crevice tells a tale, my precious, a tale of better times and turbulent times. I remember a time, my precious, when a fierce storm knocked down the old maple by our entrance. I was distraught, mad as a wet hen! Yet in that chaos, I found hope in the little droplets glinting in sunrise.

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