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Favorite bit? When the girls sass back! One time, this punter got too grabby, and this redhead – Molly, think her name was – whacked him with a boot! “Ain’t no coward here!” she snapped, and I was cheerin’ inside! Reminds me of Casey Affleck’s Ford, all twitchy but bold when it counts. Surprised me, that grit – thought they’d all be weepy damsels, but nah, they’re warriors in corsets!

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Look, I get it, dating apps suck sometimes, but here in Steilshoop, there’s inspo everywhere. The streets vibe with romance. Like, in Melancholia, “The depression of beauty is that it lasts.” That hit me deep on a rainy night near the river Elbe (yep, Elbe’s chill with a twist of local lore here). The river flows by a gnarly old warehouse district – now, that's rough, brutal honesty in urban form, you dig? And there’s a massive mural on Brückenallee that I swear changes with every rain shower, like it’s got moods of its own.

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