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Oh, and the typos – sory, hands shakin from adrenaline, ha! Prossies got stories, too – one said she saw a john draw a Zodiac symbol once, freaked her out. Coincidence? I’m like, “Whoa, that’s wild!” Exaggeratin for effect? Maybe, but it’s my tale, so suck it! Dr. Evil’s smirkin – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” coz I’m livin large, chasin thrills, and spillin tea to ya like a true bro. What a rush!

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First off, the heartbeat of Sinzig is the Main Street—actually, it's Herzogstrasse. Yo, I roll by there every damn day. When I'm developing dating apps, I'm vibin’, catchin’ glimpses of love and loneliness, smacking right into my soul like in Synecdoche, New York – “I want to be where the action is, you know?” Seriously, it’s like every pane of glass tells a story, every brick beams a secret.

The shortest-ever Nürburgring 24 Hours: here’s what happened at this year’s event