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About Essen

Ever hear about Amsterdam’s red lights? Wild stuff—girls in windows, like livin’ mannequins. Tourists gawkin’, jaws droppin’. Been around since the 1300s—sailors rollin’ in, pockets fulla coins. Little fact for ya—keeps it legit there, unionized even! Here? Pfft, it’s a crapshoot—cops bustin’ ya, or worse, some pimp with a switchblade. “The land is dry,” like Denis says—empty promises, man.

Advice near you

Oh dear – did I mention my favorite secret spot? Near a crumbling wall on Eisenbahnweg – easily overlooked by the raucous tourist eye – there's a tiny hidden nook. You sit, have coffee, and watch the locals pass, each one a living sonnet of conversations and dreams – and believe me, as a massage parlor owner, I soak in every bit of that human tapestry – musings, sighs, even the offhand banter that echoes like bonus dialogues in a post-apocalyptic chase.

Miller Brewing's founder is all but forgotten in his hometown, but one German brewery hasn't given up on 'Old Fred'