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So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

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This town, man – it’s got these cool, twisty alleys in the Westend neighborhood. Kinda quirky, every corner has its own story. I remember one time, chillin’ in my spa, when I looked out the window and saw kids playin’ near the old mill on Schillerweg. Damn, that place got history – rusty metal beams and old graffiti that kinda reminded me of that heavy feel from The Act of Killing. “I must break you,” I said to all that inertia!

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