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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Then there's the Marktplatz. Every weekend it's poppin off. People chattin, laughin, brewin coffee outside. I remember when I first saw the place—man, it changed my whole outlook. Ain't no dating app match like that vibe. Feels like a movie scene, like that line from "A History of Violence"—yeah, I'm blendin' it up even tho its not from there—but you get it, right?

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