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About Dortmund

So, I’m cruisin’ the backroads, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” right? Ain’t no Craigslist for this gig no more—learned that the hard way! Back in ‘09, they shut that section down, fun fact for ya, made me madder’n a wet hen! Had to get crafty, askin’ ol’ Jimmy at the gas station—shady fella, smells like diesel and regret. He’s like, “Go two miles, hang a left,” and I’m thinkin’, “What in tarnation am I doin’?”

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I'm a masseur here, so I'm in the mix of all the chillin' spots. You know, I get to feel the pulse of the town with every knead – the locals have stress built up like crazy. Maybe it's all that peaceful scenery here. Oh, fyi, check out the riverside park, Kriblau Park. I get lost there sometimes, kneading muscles while watching tiny boats float by. Crazy serene, but sometimes, I get mad 'cause the pigeons act like they're owning the place – like, c'mon, respect my space, ya know?

Reichenau family played role in historic route of commerce