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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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I run a massage parlor on Blumenstrase – yeah, spelled with an "a" – and I've been here for years, man. That street's a melt-in-your-mouth wonder. The vibe on Blumenstrase is so relaxed, like a slow-mo montage from Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives. Seriously, "the past flows like water" right there!

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