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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Man, sometimes I get pissed off by tourists who treat this town like a pop-up postcard. They miss the soul, the grit, the poetic dribble of daily survival. I'm like, "Seriously, open your eyes, bud!" But then, I love that we're all so raw and unfiltered, just like a real film scene, immerse, intense, and damn true.

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